I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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