Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
