I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
