All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
