If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
