He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
