What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
