I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
