Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Let's paint friendship bongs
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
