1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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