On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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