so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
