Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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