Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
