i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
