one two three fourrrrnication!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
