Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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