hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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