If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
