Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
