Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
