id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
