I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
