idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
