How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
