sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
