and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
