margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
