So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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