He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
