I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
