if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I AM VODKA MAN
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
