this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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