I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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