I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
