Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
