Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
