No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
