Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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