HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
