i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
