Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
