sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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