He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You don't make any sense
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