Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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