she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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