its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
