Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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