dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
