i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
