I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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