I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
